So here I am, sitting in my office, and I wonder why/how people make the decisions they do. Furthermore, I wonder how chance/luck factors into the decisions that one makes. I want to elaborate on these ideas in terms of me.

first off,chance and luck are factors that should be embraced in the flow of life but underlying them, i bleieve, are pre conditions that we can actually control, exteriorly/from third party views they are obsereved as luck as chance.

INTENTION. INTENTION. INTENTION.
(one of them is intention and i don't have time to elaborate on the others, i am at work)

this summer was an incredibly hectic summer for me, a lot was happening, but somewhere admist all the happening the concept of intention sunk in. i think the theme sits so staunchly with me because of my interest in art, creation, systems, activism, and the general desire to understand what seperates a scribble from a portrait--a kiss from love--a day from living--laughter from happiness.

from scribbles you can create a potrait but a scribble alone will always fall short--so what is that difference:

Michael: let us take your interaction with claire: was your encounter simple chance? from the little i know i would suggest the fact that you had plugged yourself into the rock gym, outdooring, RA'ing, the frat, and your accessible personality it was inevitbale that you would meet claire. the social touches YOU created along with the communities understanding of who you are was positevly reflecting so that encounters with attractive blonde, blue eyed girls would be possible. the question then is, was that your intention? was that what you wanted?

a distinction i've chosen to take in my life is to not live to make money but live a life that produces wealth. to not enter a relationship for the sex but create a healthy relationship that allows sex. such shifts in thought open a path that allows one to focus in a more transcendent sincere engagement-- i think ben touched upon some of this in his post too in relation to some of his recent actions.

MIchael, look back at your relationship with school, the fact that your at whitman with an awesome scholarship was the direct result of your staunch intentions--you wanted to get into a competitive school and you now haave that.

an example of intention is our blog--i want to ensure that we remain friends for a long time, i want to document our journey and unfolding of life, i want to remain connected, and thus i jumped started our blog--we'll see how it unfolds...i have hope.

INTENTION. INTENTION. INTENTION.

just like you have learned to succeed with school michael, i'm sure if you put yourself to it you could learn to succeed with women. simply because we struggle should not mean we dissmiss it as chance.

in terms of physical versus personality? --there are a lot of fish in the sea--a good fisherman is patient and doesn't reel in just because something is nibbling, he may tow the line a bit but if its not what he wants he'll let it go.


in terms of the polar dynamics of me and chris--they simply refelct the ebb and flow of life and the limitiations of time. the good things don't last forever but if they were real they will always come back--the crucial part is to turn the lows into our impetus' --i may have ended a relationship with chelsea BUT i benefitted greatly from that experience--what are the things that you learned from your time with claire, its too easy to say fuck it when it all falls--what will you do differently--would you have joined long distance running if it were not for her-- women aren't PHD's and Bachelor certificats--once you've entitled them as your GF they aren't going to stick forever its a tricky engagement of trust and great opportunity to practice the act of giving unconditionally--chelsea was a huge challenge but from it i feel more confident --it gave me focus and challenged my priorities--i honestly think i enjoy life more because of all that i fought through--and on a side note she plans on coming back down next weekend to hang out...

and fuck it the next woman i find will be even more awesome--and the challenge of finding her is exciting...